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In order to get the right answers about life, it is necessary to ask the right questions.  A lot of people get the right answers to the wrong questions and end up wondering where and why they missed out on life.

For example, a young person may enter college asking, what career can I choose that will make me the most money?  And that person may find the right   answer to that question and yet be bitterly disappointed with the discovery.  All across the industrialized world, there are thousands of top-bracket executives who are absolutely miserable, both in their personal and professional lives.  They would gladly trade their six-figure salary for some sense of genuine contentment.

What went wrong in their lives?  Just this: They found the right answer to the wrong question.  They approached life wanting to know the where and how of money.  And they found the answer, but they did not find life.

But let us suppose a young person should enter college asking, how can I make the highest contribution and where will I find the deepest satisfaction?  If he or she comes up with the right answer to those questions, they may or may not make a lot of money.  But one thing is certain – they will discover life, and they will do a lot of living.

In this life, it is not enough to find the right answers; we must, first, ask the right questions. 

This issue comes into focus during the season of Advent.  It seems to me that one real question we should ask ourselves is, why should we forgive anyone at all?  If we can find the right answer to that question, if we can understand the nature and necessity of forgiveness in the first place, then we can apply it in every situation throughout all of life.  If forgiveness is a valid approach to human relationships, surely it is just as valid the   hundredth time as it is the first time.

It seems to me that we should forgive because we need forgiving.  All of us are involved on both sides of this issue.  It is true that sometimes we do others wrong, and that puts us in the role of the one who needs to be forgiven.

As badly and as often as we need to be forgiven, we can ill afford to block the channels of  forgiveness.  I can tell you how often I want to be forgiven by God and by the people whom I know and love.  Not seven times, not even seventy times seven.  I hope they will forgive me every time I need it.  And if I want that for myself, I have no right to withhold it from anyone else.  We should forgive the first time, the second time, and every time for the simple reason that we too need to be forgiven.

Also, if we don’t forgive, it will hurt us more than anyone.  This is not to deny that others would be hurt  by our unforgiving spirit.  They would be.  Suppose you should seek the forgiveness of a friend and be flatly   refused.  What would that do to you?  It would break your heart.  But eventually your heart will heal.  At some point you would say to yourself, I have done my best.  There is nothing more I can do.  Now it is time to get on with life.

But the festering resentment of an unforgiving spirit never heals.  The person who refuses to forgive     inevitably becomes sour, cynical, and sad.  The person who will not forgive hurts a lot of  people.  That person destroys relationships, and he or she breaks hearts.  But most of all, that person hurts himself or  herself, and the only way to end the torture is to forgive and forget. 

This Advent, think of this and then answer the question, Why should I forgive at all?  The answer: because I need forgiveness myself, and because when I fail to forgive I hurt myself more than I hurt  anyone else.